Process Server and Investigation
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Process Server and Investigation
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Sometimes people cheat in romantic and sexual relationships, and this type of illicit behavior causes significant levels of marital strife in closed relationships. Whether married or simply in committed relationships closed to outsiders, adultery can take many forms and happens for many reasons. Our polygraph examiners at our private investigation agency in Oklahoma thus receive countless requests for assistance in administering cheating spouse lie detector tests for couples experiencing marital turmoil and strife resulting from adultery.
There are numerous types of relationship cheating that negatively impact relationships. Our infidelity polygraph examiners note that these include, but are not limited to, the following:
One of the most common forms of marriage infidelity involve physical contact. While platonic hugging, handshakes, and even cheek kissing in some countries’ cultures are okay between family members and trusted friends, when boundaries blur and people in committed relationships cross the line with physical contact, unfaithful spouse lie detector tests often become necessary. Indeed, our marriage infidelity private investigators note that the following forms of physical cheating are most common:
Our unfaithful spouse polygraph examiners, when offering lie detector tests to couples in need emphasize that if you would not do the activity in front of your spouse, then it is inappropriate to do them with someone else. Thus, while a lover is okay with her/his/their partner giving a hug or kiss to a parent, sibling, or child, giving a sensual massage to a random stranger is a definite no-no for couples in closed relationships.
Aside from physical misconduct in closed romantic and sexual relationships, experts also note that emotional unfaithfulness also occurs in some relationships as well. Thus, behavior in closed relationships between intimate partners that includes any of the following are ones which romantic partners must avoid:
A person’s spouse is supposed to be the primary intimate partner with whom an individual shares her/his/their innermost thoughts. If this occurs outside the realm of a counseling session or with a trusted immediate family member, then it is a form of cheating. Indeed, many couples do not even realize that this is a form of marital infidelity. Disclosing extremely sensitive feelings begins to form an intimate bond, however, with people that can lead to the further development of feelings that must be reserved for one’s spouse.
Flirting with others, especially in front of one’s spouse, is not only rude and disrespectful; it is also a form of cheating within committed relationships. Many people occasionally flirt here and there, but it is something that mature, resolute couples should strive to avoid at all costs. Our polygraph examiners in Mustang, OK and infidelity private investigators both assert that this type of toxic behavior can help kill marriages via “death by a thousand cuts.”
People reading this who were previously uncertain whether your actions constituted infidelity, then rest assured that both our infidelity private detectives and cheating spouse polygraph examiners alike all agree that the actions above are prohibited.
Another type of infidelity that our unfaithful spouse polygraph examiners see quite often is the giving away of a couple’s money. Whether a cheater sends it to a hot blonde or to a baby boy toy, married couples should make mutual decisions about where their money goes. Thus, financial cheating private investigations often uncover evidence such as bank statements, receipts, hotel booking confirmations, and more.
In previous times, there were no computers, cell phones, laptop computers, or the accompanying dating and sex websites. However, since the 1990s with the advent of the internet, apps like Tinder, Grindr, and others, instant access to sex, romance, prostitutes, and a “side” of Emma or Noah for “dessert” become viable options for those attractive enough to make others horny. Our digital infidelity polygraphs can indeed test for the following types of e-cheating:
The sharing of nude or otherwise seductive photos or even erotic chat is a sign of cheating that our unfaithful spouse private investigators often uncover during marriage infidelity private investigations. Content like this has become so incredibly easy for individuals to share with others over mediums like romance and sex apps, text messaging, social media, e-mail, and more.
Even if someone is not sharing erotic photos, videos, or engaging in the sending and receiving of explicit messages, secretly texting a prohibited individual is a form of both digital and emotional cheating. Indeed, if your lover has specifically said not to communicate with a particular person, or if the individual is someone you have any sexual attraction to, then it is best to add the other spouse to the message chat or not communicate at all. While digital communications and mediums make it so easy for others to come knocking at a couple’s castle gates, no one else can enter unless one of the members of the relationship willfully opens the gate for the intruder.
Any form of hidden romantic or sexual relationship, whether done digitally, via traditional letters, or in-person, are unhealthy. In this case, when some people avoid in-person and even emotional cheating but engage in discreet online cybersex hookups. Cybersexual activity with another human, whereby both people write out the sexual activity as if it were happening in real time, is still a form of being unfaithful to one’s spouse or other lover.
Our marriage and relationship polygraphists in Edmond, Oklahoma have also noted that since the 1990s, there has been an incredibly explosion of the number of sex and dating apps available on the internet nowadays. From Tinder and Grindr and more, one need only type in something like “best sex and dating apps” to find a huge list at her/his/their disposal. Our digital private investigators have uncovered a plethora of electronic cheating over the years, and some of the evidence was quite explicit!
Our cheating spouse polygraph examiners note that there are a wide variety of reasons that some people engage in cheating during committed relationships. These can include, but are not necessarily limited to, the following:
One of the biggest reasons that people cheat on their romantic/sexual partners, is because one or both people in the marriage or other relationship feels emotionally neglected or abandoned. Whether real or imagined, if one person feels her/his/their lover has become too emotionally distant or otherwise emotionally neglected, then that individual may very well seek out someone else to help fill the void and meet that person’s emotional needs. Engaging in adultery for this reason is still highly toxic and unhealthy. In these cases, marriage counseling is necessary to help resolve the issue and to help bring the couple back to stability and peace.
Just as with people who steal or molest children, so, too, can marriage infidelity occur simply because the opportunity arose. If a hot young female or handsome pool boy come along and become open to a relationship or discreet sex, then some married/committed people will go for it. Why not? This “fantastic” opportunity may not ever come around again, so what is the harm in taking advantage of it?
Our polygraph private investigations repeatedly uncover this toxic behavior. The harm is that it did not happen with the prior consent from the other spouse/lover. If the tables were turned, the cheating spouse would not appreciate her/his/their lover doing the same thing with someone off the street, either.
Micro-cheating involves any emotional or digital intimacy with others outside of the committed marriage relationship. This “death by a thousand cuts” form of toxic behavior can help erode trust and intimacy within marriages over time. This is especially true if a spouse or other committed lover begins completely substituting the intimacy with this new person for the intimacy that she/he/they is/are supposed to be sharing with her/his/their spouse.
Long-term distance and separation can begin to erode a committed relationship over time. This is especially true where one or both partners are in the military, facing long separations and deployments. Distance and separation are major factors in why so many military marriages, even among commissioned officers, begin to fall apart and end in divorce.
Many incarcerated individuals, especially those facing extensive prison sentences, also see their marriages fall apart. While some non-incarcerated partners do stay committed, many will find the need to move on and have someone who is not going to spend the next twenty, thirty, or forty years in prison. Decades constitute many years and waiting that long is something many spouses on the outside feel unable to do.
Additionally, sometimes the incarcerated individuals do indeed find that they want emotional and even prohibited sexual intimacy with other incarcerated people they have access to. Men who have never been romantically or sexually intimate with another man often find themselves taking it up the ass, while some females become “lesbians until release date” or “LURDS.”
When someone is married to one partner, as in a situation where both are cisgender and in a heterosexual relationship, but one of the people is secretly gay, lesbian, bisexual, nonbinary, or transgender, that person may seek to go with lovers of her/his/their true sexual orientation/gender. Indeed, news agencies catch plenty of conservative, “straight” men who work vehemently to pass anti-2SLGBTQIA+ legislation seeking out discreet encounters with gay men and underage boys.
Indeed, news agencies exposed former U.S. Secretary of Homeland Security & former South Dakota Governor Kristi Noem’s “straight, cisgender husband,” Byron Noem, as he worse fake breasts and chatted with camera girls online. Exploring “his” gender identity while hypocritically supporting Republicans’ efforts to fully restrict all 2SLBBTQIA+ rights.
If the closeted 2SLGBTQIA+ had instead felt safe enough to come out earlier, this may have been avoided. Sadly though, the repercussions for simply being a member of the 2SLGBTQIA+ in primitive, uneducated, unintelligent, overly religious, and grotesquely conservative states like Oklahoma often get one shunned, fired, divorced, disowned, and even murdered. Republicans successfully brought Oklahoma down to finally being dead last, 50th, in the nation in education, but surely that has “nothing” to do with how conservative, religious, and backwards our state is.
From parents who are concerned about their children to spouses who suspect their lovers of cheating on them, family members also use Global Positioning Systems, discreet auditory recording devices, and hidden CCTV cameras to monitor the whereabouts and activities of their loved ones. Some people use them for protection, while others use them for spying and collecting damning information with which to confront their romantic/sex partners in court.
Other family members do so to stalk, coerce, and otherwise threaten and harass their loved ones. There are indeed numerous valid and nefarious reasons to use these devices within families. Our private investigators in Yukon, OK’s job is to locate and disable them.
Caretakers of vulnerable adults and others in their care also use them. They need immediate notice if someone in their care falls, gets hurt, or begins to wander away. If something happens, they need a quick alert so they can provide immediate assistance.
Our cheating spouse polygraph examiners who conduct polygraph investigations also note that another reason some people cheat on their lovers is because they harbor secret fetishes. As we described above, some people, especially men, love going after women who are transgender and will fetishize them. Others have cousin fetishes, pregnancy fetishes, and other BDSM fetishes that their spouse or other romantic/sexual partner might not be into. Indeed, websites like FetLife are packed with members who are all seeking discreet encounters to fulfill their fantasies. While some couples are sexually compatible, whether they are both “very vanilla” or have a wide variety of sexual interests, if one wants to do things the other will not, it may help cause that person to stray sexually.
Our unfaithful spouse private detectives also note that sometimes people stray from remaining faithful and acting with fidelity in their committed relationships, because they have this innate desire for sexual variety that their monogamous relationships simply fail to satisfy. Thus, infidelity because of this need for sexual variety often helps necessitate the use of adultery polygraphs to help determine the truth.
When one spouse or other lover decides to withhold sexual intercourse and other intimacy, whether willingly or due to illnesses, age, etc., it can cause the affected partner to feel unsatisfied in the relationship. Thus, when this willful or circumstantial neglect becomes prolonged, it can strain the committed relationship. Instead of separating or arranging for one person to have some other form of sexual outlet, our private investigators see many people cheat instead to avoid the issue.
Polygraph examiners in Edmond at our private detective agency in Oklahoma see many different types of personalities who tend to cheat most often on their partners, in committed relationships. Our private eyes note that these include, but are not limited to, the following four types:
Romantic and sexual partners with insecure avoidant attachment styles are more likely to self-sabotage their committed relationships by cheating. In doing so, they can preemptively kill their marriages before their lover might later do so. In this way, it can help prevent them from being the victim of infidelity or other loss due to no fault of their own.
People with poor impulse control who love seeking the newest thrills are also more likely to engage in adultery. A new, discreet, romantic relationship might sound fun and enjoyable, and they may do it just for the thrill. Their impulsivity makes it even more likely they will retain self-control, thus exacerbating the frequency and intensity with which they cheat.
According to the Five Factor Model, also known as the “FFM” or “Big 5” by psychological experts, traits like the following five personality traits are also much more likely to engage in marital infidelity than those who do not. Our polygraphers in Piedmont, Oklahoma, note that they include the following:
Our polygraph examiners in Mustang, Oklahoma who conduct polygraph tests in Oklahoma City on couples experiencing marital strife due to eroticism. This occurs when someone sees sexual activity as an independent mechanism for self-expression and pleasure, not just for couples’ bonding in committed relationships. Indeed, many people who are happily married cheat, because they do not see it conflicting with their marital happiness or vows.
Of course, the offended spouse in these situations often rightfully have an issue with it. If both sides have agreed to remain sexually and romantically faithful, yet one person is breaking that trust, then there is a serious issue that develops. If a person with a high level of eroticism is unable to remain faithful to one person, then perhaps he/she/they would be happier in a polyamorous relationship.
People who are unable to control their impulses are less disciplined and tend to operate less ethically than those who are more conscientious. Thus, plenty of couples split up, because one or both people in the relationship fail to control their urges to cheat on the other person.
As our polygraph examiners in Moore mentioned earlier, people who are open to new experiences are more likely to seek out variety and even fetishes. Thus, sex and romantic partners who are more open to new experiences than those who are not have a stronger correlation of cheating on those they claim to love. Thus, those who have no inner desire to seek out new experiences will not seek out opportunities to have them.
Unlike their extroverted counterparts, extroverted lovers thrive on social connections and find thrilling fulfillment in social rewards and validation. Comparatively, introverted people are more likely to be homebodies, seeking fewer outgoing social interactions. Thus, they meet fewer people and are more likely to thrive off reading a book or watching a movie at home instead.
Our infidelity polygraph examiners in El Reno, Oklahoma point out that people who have extremely low levels of agreeableness tend to have much less empathy than those who are more agreeable. These people tend to put their own wants and needs above those of others around them, including those of people they are in romantic/sexual relationships with.
Additionally, since these types of toxic people who sometimes even enjoy conflict – often because they grew up in homes inundated with it – people with low levels of agreeableness are prone to manipulation and even lying without one bit of a conscience that tells them not to. Thus, our Oklahoma private investigators who conduct family and divorce private investigations, and our polygraph examiners in OKC who run the polygraphs on couples, both note that single people should avoid partnering up with extremely disagreeable people.
Our infidelity polygraph examiners note that the three extremely toxic traits in the “Dark Triad” include narcissism, Machiavellianism, and psychopathy. Anyone who has ever cracked a university psychology textbook open even once knows to run and hide from people with these dysfunctional personality traits.
Narcissistic people are super self-absorbed, blame everyone else for their mistakes, and have an inability to learn and ever “be wrong” about anything. This is a learned trait, often coming from those who raised the individual. One classic saying referring to how difficult narcissists are to deal with, is that you can call them, but you cannot leave a message that gets through to them. Most narcissists rarely, if ever, change and become good people.
Machiavellianism, our family and divorce private investigators point out, are often extremely cunning and are excellent manipulators. Like their narcissistic comrades in toxicity, they often display extreme levels of self-interest. Relationship polygraph examiners end up running countless lie detector tests on people displaying Machiavellianism, and most, if not all, are guilty of adultery.
People with psychopathy often display extremely low levels of empathy for others. They do not care how their cheating affects their “loved” one. Instead, they actively participate in antisocial behavior, show little, if any remorse for their misdeeds, and are often bold and very egocentric. While some, like sociopaths, can indeed put on a very believable but fake façade of charm and genuineness, it is all just an act.
Today, there are many places where people engaging in adultery meet others that they begin cheating with. Our legal professionals do indeed run numerous polygraphs for people who meet at the following places and then begin cheating:
As one can clearly see, there are many different locations where people can meet, even platonically at first. Nowhere has this been truer in the last three decades or so as in the online platforms. However, if committed couples and those outside of the relationship fail morally and do not set and maintain clear boundaries, then entropy and chaos will surely develop for all those involved. Thus, our polygraph examiners near me stress that married couples and those in other committed relationships must always remain watchful and on guard, so as not to let platonic friendships and encounters, let alone intentional cheating efforts, interfere with loving and harmonic relationships.
Sadly, both our Edmond, Oklahoma polygraph examiners and our unfaithful spouse private investigator point out that, in addition to the breaking of trust, infidelity can also come with physical and sexual consequences. Indeed, we see plenty of clients who have not only contracted a serious disease while cheating on their spouses, but unfortunately some of them also give their innocent lovers the disease as well. Some of the most common sexually transmitted diseases (STIs) people engaging in infidelity include, but are not limited to, the following:
While technically preventable through vaccinations and though it usually clears up on its own, this disease can also cause cancer if left untreated. Many times, people who have it show few, if any, symptoms. This is quite a common sexually transmitted disease. This STI is bacterial in nature.
This is the STD that people report getting more than they do any other sexually transmitted infection. It is certainly curable, though it is extremely unpleasant. Without quick treatment, it can cause Pelvic Inflammatory Disorder (PID) and can even cause women to lose all fertility for the rest of their lives!
This is a treatable bacterial STD, and people can transfer it to one another via oral, anal, and vaginal intercourse. Oral and anal transmission often have few, if any, symptoms.
HSV-1 is commonly known as genital herpes, whereby sores come around the genital area. HSV-2 is where a person gets them inside or around the mouth. Our cheating spouse detectives have received numerous reports of unfaithful spouses transmitting this to their partners after infidelity. Because both HSV-1 and HSV-2 are incurable viruses, they never go away, once contracted, and have no vaccine available to prevent them.
Another incurable virus, HIV can be deadly! While modern medicine has significantly extended the lifespans for those who can afford lifelong treatment, it never fully goes away. During the 1980s and 1990s, it was so new with so few effective treatments that it completely devastated large swaths of communities.
While this is much more treatable than it was about a hundred years ago, it remains an extremely dangerous and life-threatening bacterial infection. Many people do not know they have it and can be asymptomatic, but syphilis can hide and remain dormant for decades, spreading from one individual to another. It is an extremely dangerous STI, and those who have it should immediately seek proper medical care.
This is parasite-based, and most people who get this do not even know that they have it. Indeed, to accurately diagnose this disease, medical experts must run a special blood test which will detect its presence.
These are just a few of the many sexually transmitted diseases that our polygraph examiners in El Reno, Oklahoma, encounter while discussing disclosures by people taking infidelity lie detector tests. There are others, of course, but these are the ones which repeatedly come up in discussions.
There are several key types of responses that cheating spouses and other lovers will proffer to their mates, once suspicions of infidelity arise. Our divorce private detectives also see these as well. They include, but are not limited to, the following:
When confronted with cheating, especially when evidence exists, some cheaters will admit to it but then minimize the severity and/or impact of their actions. “Yes, I sent a nude pic of myself to _____, but it is not like we were kissing or having sex!” This is a toxic deflective behavior, and it does not help with healing the relationship or changing the cheater’s actions.
Many cheaters outright lie about having cheated at all. Even when they fail the romance polygraph or when our adultery private investigator presents video and/or photographic evidence of the actual cheating, some will nonetheless continue to deny it. Denial of marital infidelity is one of the most common responses that cheating spouses offer to those they claim to care about.
Some cheaters pretend to have remorse and act like they are “sorry” for having engaged in infidelity. They may say this just to placate their lovers, yet many will turn around and do it again. Our polygraph examiners in Choctaw, OK note that narcissists, sociopaths, psychopaths, and pathological liars with high charisma levels are especially adept at using this toxic response.
Yet another tactic many cheaters use when refusing to take responsibility for their marital infidelity is to play the victim role. “I am the real victim here. I would not have cheated if you had not _____!” The victim stance is indeed one of the most difficult to get someone out of, as people often learn this behavior while kids from the people who raise them and usually carry it for their lifetime.
With this toxic tactic, cheating spouses try to shift the blame onto their spouse. Thus, it was “not” the fault of the cheater; instead, the victim was the “real” cause of the infidelity. This is not to say that the one who did not cheat was not emotionally distant or refused sex for years, but the decision to cheat still ultimately rests with the one who did it. At any rate, shifting blame helps ease the cheater’s conscience and make it easier to justify her/his/their actions.
With gaslighting, unfaithful spouses tell their lovers that the cheating simply did not happen. What they think occurred “did not,” thus causing victims in cheating spouse cases to question their own sanity and memory. Gaslighting happens in many circumstances, and it is a form of denial.
This rarely happens, especially without therapy, reflection, and the presentation of hard proof of marital infidelity. Even with photos and videos showing a lover and her/his/their side piece together in bed having sex, some discredited perpetrators of cheating will nonetheless deny it anyway. Our polygraph examiners in Edmond, OK do see some people finally come clean, once they fail polygraphs in Bethany, OK, but many do not – especially narcissists who are “never wrong.”
As you can clearly see, there are many different types of responses that unfaithful spouses will offer to the people they claim to love. The types of response given often depends on what tactics the cheater thinks will work best and where she/he/they is/are in the acceptance and responsibility process.
The last type of response we listed above, whereby someone tells the truth and accepts responsibility, is never the response couples coming in for polygraph tests for infidelity. Only when the polygraph examinations come back showing deception and the lover is outed as a liar do some examinees finally confess. Even when the tests come back showing the examinee lied, many cheaters still stick to their stories and try to discredit the lie detector test itself as “unreliable” or claim a “false positive” somehow occurred.
When a couple comes into our Oklahoma office for an adultery polygraph exam, our polygraphists in OKC will sit down and speak with the couple. After forming a few specific questions which require only “Yes” or “No” responses and ensuring that the examinee is not disqualified from taking a lie detector test, the polygraph will proceed.
The polygraph examiner in Norman, Oklahoma then connects the examinee up to the polygraph machine, monitoring bodily responses such as heart rate, sweating, blood pressure, etc. Significant deviations while answering the questions can indicate deceptive answers, and at the conclusion of the polygraph tests in Midwest City, OK, the polygraph examiner can provide the results verbally and, if desired, in the form of a written report as well. It is a straightforward process, lasting a total time of about one to three hours from start to finish, depending on several factors.
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